1. sub-sequent:

    happiest:

    do u ever wonder if anyone else in the world is listening to the exact same song as you and on the exact same lyric as you 

    no.. I am already familiar with the concept of FM radio

    (via todallison)

     

  2. forsakers:

    I tumblr more than I go outside.

    (via handjob)

     

  3. crabparty:

    my brother had a dream he spent 20 dollars on a hotdog and he woke up screaming

    (via handjob)

     

  4. You’re a Bitch

    You’re a Bit

    You’re a

    You’re

    You

    Yo

    Y

    Yo

    You

    You’re

    You’re a

    You’re a Bi

    You’re a Bitch

    Oh look ,You’re still a Bitch

    (Source: humorbaby, via the-old-ultr4-violence)

     

  5. bloody-nips:

    when you accidentally make a baby cry and you don’t know what to do to get it to stop

    image

    (Source: slimydad, via beyoncevevo)

     

  6. illbegotdamn:

    eholaura:

    solarselection:

    small-baby-chihiro:

    ocebutt:

    dooptown:

    i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again

    YOU DO NOT NEED TO BRING YOUR GUN TO THE GROCERY STORE

    how does america even function like it sounds like a video game or something. grand theft freedom.

    image

    image

    image

    image

    image

    image

    image

    what in the pure fuck

    HOW IS THIS NORMAL?!

    Normal if you’re white. You get shot on sight if you’re a minority.

    (via beyoncevevo)

     

  7. t1m3l0rdh4nj1:

    Having a pet is so weird. Like neither of you speak each other’s language and yet you form some strong bond by rubbing against each other and sleeping together and you might accidentally kick them in the face or step on their tail once in a while but at the end of the day you two are best buddies from entirely different species.

    (via beyoncevevo)

     
  8. bile7:

    bile7:

    What I do?

    When that baby walks away with her hand in the air sayin “OKAY” is me

    (Source: betterthankanyebitch, via svveden)

     
     
  9.  

  10. everyoneisdeadnow:

    if we go to a restaurant and have to choose between a table or a booth and you say table i will never trust you again

    (via whats-not-yet-forgotten)

     
  11.  
  12.  

  13. helioscentrifuge:

    asgardreid:

    sextronautt:

    we live in a world where the pizza arrives faster than the police

    Well the pizza driver faces consequences when their job isn’t done right.

    image

    (via ruinedchildhood)

     

    1. white people: this is SO spicy
    2. me: it's water
     

  14. gelatins:

    hello, is this mcdonalds? ah yes, i would like to make reservations for 2

    (via beyoncevevo)